Spring Break

3.14.09 (Pi Day)

Spring break--time to relax, unwind, wind up, and let loose. 

What did I do? 

First weekend--work, putting together proposal for research in Guatemala this summer. Intimidating, yes. What do I say? Of course I say what I want to do--study nutrition in Guatemala, but how do I say it to sound convincing enough? Stress, stress, stress. Frustration. 

Monday through Thursday--Washington, DC

I visited my third cousin, really my grandfather's cousin. About 50 years my senior, she is also an inspiration. Daughter of surgeon general (some 40 years ago), we discussed health policy, the financial crisis, international travels, and family history. 

During the day, I walked the streets of Georgetown, U Street, Dupont Circle. I walked Dupont Circle to the Mall, appreciated the current exhibits at the Hirshhorn. I even met up with a friend who had graduated from Ballroom. My last night, I went with my cousin to see a documentary profiling PhD students at Columbia pursuing their theses in biochemistry. 

Friday through Saturday--

I am enjoying my time in NYC with Karen, a friend I graduated with from high school. She has introduced me to so many people--great people, I am happy that she has formed such important relationships here in NYC. Last night, she showed me a view of NYC from the roof of the international studies building on campus. It was an adventure getting there and thoroughly unforgettable. 

Thanks to Karen, I am updating my blog, procuring twitter,and hoping to update more often to keep those dear to me informed. 

With love and happiness, 

Hayley 

Culpabilidad

I feel awful!
Yesterday upon waking up, I realized that someone from PLBD had sent out an e mail reminding us to update the officers blog. So, trying to be the people pleaser that I am, I went to work on responding to the questions he had posed. I also answered some questions that others had asked on the same e mail.
Then, later that night, to my dismay the Team Captain approached me with a serious face. It turns out he had sent out a separate e mail informing us not to post material that the former person and I had posted. I just wanted to cry. How can people pleasing take me to such the wrong places?
I had just gotten through a day in which I was happy because I hadn't been making too many mistakes. I single-handedly organized a speaking event for Casa, I had successfully organized all privates for the week, and I thought I had helped out the board earlier that morning.
I also felt bad because I ignored something another PLBD board member had shared with us about the purpose of the blog. And it was her birthday they day before, so my ignorance was clearly unjustified.
How can I be such a bad human being. An ignorant sac of people pleasing toadiness?

Soledad

February 16--
Why do waves of loneliness drown me?
Why do waves of loneliness drown me?
Why do my eyes feel tired from crying when I have not shed a tear?
Why do I only shallowly complete my tasks?
Why do waves of loneliness drown me?

Goals for 2009

02 January 2009

Goals for 2009:

• Get certified to teach Yoga (power or Vinyasa flow)!
• Find a stable and dependable dance partner
• Keep updating this blog!
  

Volviendo a la realidad

02 January 2009

I have resolved for this year to continue the strong relationships that I have built so far in my life. To do so, I captured the advice of several key friends and following them, I believe a blog seems most accessible and encouraging to maintaining these links.

So, after spending the first day of the New Year in an airport bringing me back to reality--academics, research, and friends in Philadelphia, I am trying to link my multiple realities--my homes. Leaving Florida, my home for 18 years and 2 weeks this winter, I felt conflicting emotions. Had I really accomplished everything that I had set out to do?
Before returning to my former reality, refastening the loose ties on old relationships really frightened me. How much have I changed as a person? How much have I matured into a fresh self, the self that will likely stay with me for years to come.
But, I stuck my toes in my past, like beginning to immerse myself in the cool waters of an ocean. And I quickly warmed up. I saw friends who struggled with me throughout high school, friends I had known since I was 12 but neglected to dependently fasten to. I saw those friends to whom I never revealed my most trying vulnerabilities, friends who've seen me superficially, and friends who've known me since my very first breaths.

And what have I learned? Take advantage of every second you have with those you love. Rise early and fill your days with adventures and situations that foster a mutual dependence. I am starting that officially today. My Florida home is something I know that I can always return to, and my Philadelphia home is something that I am starting to build. Both are pivotal to my life now and in the future.

So, thank you to all of my dear friends who have so willingly welcomed me back. Thank you for recognizing my new drives and motivations. And thank you for helping me add on to them.